New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
