Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
