what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
