One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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