it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
