Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
