Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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