Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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