i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
