if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
