Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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