I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i came on her dog
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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