the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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