If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
