why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize