you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
