I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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