so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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