so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
