Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
