Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
