this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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