Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
