I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You took a bar mat shot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
