Im at strip club and am horny
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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