Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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