Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
