Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
