how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
