You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
