What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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