what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
