im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
how drunk are you?
Several
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
