R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Terrible idea I love it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
