The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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