She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
