Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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