Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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