WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just high enough for therapy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
