she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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