from now on my penis is your penis
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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