talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
dude. I can hear the air.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
