I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I looked at my own cervix.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Girls should come with a carfax report
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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