Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize