Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and she was petting her beer can
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
