god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
