I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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