I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
