Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
