Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
