I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
