i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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