Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
