And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
