I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
your like the ambassador to my penis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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