R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
