i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
