Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
