I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
