you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize