he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
