Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
