she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
