so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
