do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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