Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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