I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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